December 2017
A Christmas in the Desert
Christmas is coming, and this year it feels different.
The decorations are up, the lights are on, the world is celebrating. And here I am, walking through what feels like a desert. My partner is still without work, our plans feel uncertain, and I can’t shake the feeling of being… lost.
It’s strange to face the season of joy while your heart feels heavy. Everything around me points to celebration, but inside, I feel quiet, uncertain, and a little broken.
I keep asking God: Where are You in this? Are You here? Are You seeing this? Are You still in control? Sometimes He feels quiet. So quiet that I wonder if He’s asleep while life is happening around me.
And yet, even in this desert, I sense Him — not in the noise, not in the cheer, not in the answers I want — but in the stillness. In the small, unseen ways He provides. In the moments of grace that appear unexpectedly. In the reminder that joy can exist even when circumstances feel empty.
This Christmas will not feel like the ones I’ve imagined. But perhaps that is the point. Perhaps this season is about finding God in the desert — about learning that He is present even when it doesn’t feel festive, even when I feel lost.
I don’t know what the coming year holds. I don’t know how long this desert season will last. But I do know this: God is faithful. And even when I feel lost, His presence is enough to guide me through the quiet, the uncertainty, and the longing.
This Christmas, I will cling to that truth — that God is here, even in the desert, even in the silence, and even in the moments I feel lost.